Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
