in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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