how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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