i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
