he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
