her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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