you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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