So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
