if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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