Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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