i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
