i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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