Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
