trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
