when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize