with your own penis?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
