go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
They took my balls.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
