Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize