smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
