i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
