i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
