i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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