i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Randomize