Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
