we have officially lost it.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
