As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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