its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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