How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm bleeding and have questions
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
