and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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