About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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