K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
