I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize