Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I think we might need a safe word for this...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
