Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
