just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
