I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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