i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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