Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
