Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
