She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
