Where is the hickey?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
