You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
