I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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