So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
