pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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