Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
