Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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