I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We left the knife in your bed.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
