yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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