I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My balls are so social today.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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