I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
