I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
