Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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