just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
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