That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
