I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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