I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
