I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
