Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
