I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Randomize
