Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
