you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
