He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
third nipple confirmed
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
