return my video game
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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