she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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