so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
