so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i will never coherently bang her
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
