if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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