he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
