I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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