guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
A bitchslap is in order.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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