capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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